Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
