my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
