Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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