you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
