And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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