i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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