She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
