Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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