Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
