i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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