Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
