Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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