I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
