Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize