I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
