this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He kissed a someone with a penis
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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