I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
