The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
