Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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