After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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