So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
