do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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