yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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