So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
