Already got asked if we're dating
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
