I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
