naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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