Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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