P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
