I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
