haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i barfeds in our rink
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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