Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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