i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
