i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
