I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
