Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
