I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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