all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you win again, gameday.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
