Ambien. No doubt about it.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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