just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
