I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
