i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
