So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
