Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
