i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
