i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
it's like iHOP with fire
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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