What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
