I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
