I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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