i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
