I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do vagina's smell?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
