i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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