Non-Jews are for practice
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
