idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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