I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
