Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize