please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
