I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
