just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
