I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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