my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He passed out mid-signature
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
